How to become a master of island creativity

This morning I caught myself tie-ripping my car. To be fair, I had already tie-ripped and duct-taped most of the other items we own, like Jeff’s sandals, the shower curtain and our ‘new’ lounge set. To turn our jeep into the subject of this island creativity, however, is not something I was planning on.

The exhaust pipe of our island jeep had been banging into the fuel tank for weeks, and it really was just on the verge of breaking down all together. So, I found a creative, and cheap, way of fixing it! Yay me, right? I believe everyone (aka my parents) should be applauding my creativity rather than cursing me for not taking my jeep to a garage – where they would have used (second-hand) tie-rips too!

That said, I do need to set myself some boundaries in terms of island creativity. If not, I’ll end up gluing my head back onto my body.

So when my neighbor asked me to climb a tree, armed with a chain saw and bright yellow dive goggles, I figured I should pass. Smart kid, uh?

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You’re quite possibly wondering why my neighbor, or anyone for that matter, would ask me, the master of island creativity, to climb a tree. And, you’re quite possibly wondering why my neighbor, or anyone for that matter, would ask me, the master of island creativity, to climb a tree while holding a chain saw and wearing bright yellow dive goggles. Well, let me explain.

One sunny afternoon, after some well-earned beach time, Jeff and I drove home; which can be a tricky endeavor in a place where roads have more in common with a Dutch Maasdammer cheese (a type of cheese with large holes from the ripening process) than an asphalt lane. After parking our tie-ripped car in front of our cactus hedge, we walked into our garden and found Atilla the iguana, sitting right in front of our tree, looking all shamefaced.

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For some odd reason, also known as our obese guard iguana, the tree in our garden had snapped right through the middle and was now in a horizontal rather than vertical position. And, more importantly, was blocking our front door.

This definitely called for island creativity of a whole different order; tie-rips and duct tape would not suffice this time. So, we sat down on our porch, still salty from our swim, and started to brainstorm. After several minutes of contemplating a variety of ways to enter our home, like catching the iguana who caused all of this and throwing him through the window, our neighbor came to the rescue.

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He thought it was a rather excellent idea to have me climb the tree, or whatever was left of it, since God had made me a tiny human being, and not at all obese like Atilla. This way, the tree wouldn’t collapse any further, while I would cut down the remains of the tree and hence save our house. And, I would wear bright yellow dive goggles, for those would protect my eyes from flying wood chips.

As you may well understand, I had to pass.

And before Jeff and I even realized, our neighbor – who has never actually introduced himself properly, and hence whose name I don’t know – started climbing the tree, jumping up and down, while holding the chain saw in position, bright yellow goggles on his head. And a little later, the tree was gone, and Atilla was spared from flying through the window.

So, my number one recommendation for those who aspire to become masters of island creativity, is to stay alive. Tie-rips and duct tape cannot fix everything, so do not climb trees, do not carry chain saws, and do not wear bright yellow dive goggles. Please.

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