The first time I heard a donkey scream, I almost peed my pants. It was 4am, pitch black, and I had no clue what the hell just happened. My brain woke up rather quickly, and soon my mind was filled with all sorts of horror stories – it really was time to delete Popcorn time from my laptop and limit my access to horror films. Anyways, I gathered my courage, got out of bed, and peeked through the window.
A big, black eye stared back at me. I shrieked and hit my head against the windowpane. The donkey wasn’t impressed with me at all, and just continued wagging his tail. Left, right, left, right.
So, it took me a while to recover from this incident, and I still pee my pants a little bit when I hear a donkey bray. But, since more donkeys than humans inhabit this rock of mine – we even have a donkey sanctuary where donkeys are treated like absolute kings – I guess I have to get used to them some time.
This afternoon I was sitting on my porch, enjoying the breeze, when four donkeys approached. They stalled themselves in front of my house, and seemed to enjoy the silence of the siesta. The wind was blowing, and I was rocking in my chair, slowly falling asleep, when all of a sudden the lady in the group of donkeys started to scream at the top of her lungs. She started running like a maniac (Forrest would have been jealous), and I was waiting for her to run blindly into my pretty island jeep. As I was ready to protect my car from this donkey force, I noticed a car pulled up. Windows rolled down, and four heads peeked out. They were as much intrigued by this spectacle as I was.
The battle was growing more brutal by the second, and one of the macho’s was ready to throw himself on top of the poor lady. His tool, all grown, scared the shit out of me, but the feisty lady donkey didn’t give up. The macho would have to give his all in order to conquer her. As he tried to pull her down onto the sand, she bit his ear hard, and – at the same time – hit him with her tail.
As the boys were being thrown around, not at all able to get a hold of the lady, the more mature donkey decided to turn his back. He’d seen enough; he didn’t want to waste his energy on this poor fight. It was hot, and the day was still long. The youngsters just didn’t understand the value of patience yet. Moreover, the lady had shown her strength, and he was sure she wouldn’t need his help to defeat the boys.
He looked back once more, and then decided it was time to find some shade.
A few minutes later, camera still in my hand, one of the macho’s gave up. He was convinced they weren’t going to win this battle and he wanted to save his strength for later. In the meantime, the elder had also returned, ready to bring an end to the fight.
The kids understood it was time to return to their senses. They hadn’t succeeded, the lady was definitely too strong for them. The fight had made them thirsty, and they were ready for a sip of water. While the boys were contemplating where to go next, the mature donkey walked over to the lady, and gave her a big hug. He was proud of his girl; she had taught the boys a lesson they wouldn’t forget anytime soon.